A Kick In the Face Would Have Also Been Approved

Kids are assholes, and it’s of no fault of their own. I’m the first to admit that outside my realm of kids I know and love, I pretty much dislike all other kids. This could also stem from my disliking of most other adults. Angry bitter person, you bet, and with good reason.

On our last trip to the park, which with four kids is a circus act in itself, Noah was approached by a, what I’m assuming, was a brother and sister act. The boy kept asking Noah things and Noah would repeat his normal introductory speech. If you know Noah, you’ve heard it all before. The trick to Noah’s speech is it’s mostly just that, a series of one liners and catch phrases that  he’s previously heard from tv, been taught, or made up in his head. 9 times out of 10 if you don’t know Noah, when first approached he seems like any other kid. “Hi my name is Noah, this is Jace and this is Liam.” To which the other two kids replied with their own names. Noah then took off to go spin the sand/water/rock tubes as he normally does. Seeing as this is all pretty normal to me, I proceeded off to my usual chase Ella making sure she doesn’t eat the swing/floor/rocks/tree/person with her face. She’s still all awkward with shoes, and it leads me to be a tired, tired person after a park visit.

A good 15 minutes passes and I hear yelling. I recognize this scream, I hear it often when Noah is very overwhelmed. I turn my attention and he’s in the slide with the boy and girl tag team trying to pull him out and yelling at him that it’s one of their turns. I glance over at the parent of the two but she’s to preoccupied with being on her phone to care. Two years ago, I would have gently removed Noah from the situation, packed up the kids and stormed off home. Over the years I’ve learned that my kids have every right to be here, screaming or not, and if you’re going to blatantly ignore the fact that my child is in obvious distress due to your kids, I’ll be the one to tell them. Now as a disclaimer, Noah has “odd” tendencies. He’s been known to stand at the end of the slide and hand flap as kids come down, or shriek in delight every time they swing forward, and I’m more then happy to explain the questions that emerge from other kids. I explain that he has autism, and he sees things a little differently then they do, and he can’t always use words to explain himself. This was not the case with these two seeing as how Noah was now off the slide and out of their way and the continued to yell their park rules at him.

Before I even had the chance to scoop Ella up and march over stern face and finger wagging, mentally noting that f-bombs were not appropriate for a 9ish and 7ish year old, I looked up to see both Jace and Liam standing in front of Noah. Jace being Jace and not being so nice in the pushing department, and Liam explaining back to them that Noah had autism and that he doesn’t always get what he is being told and that when you yell at him it makes it worse. To which the, ahem, little bitch face girl replied oh so he’s stupid then.

Now. I do NOT approve of violence and Liam was explained later that it wasn’t the appropriate form of action, but I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t internally happy with him at that moment, because as a kid, I’m pretty sure I would have done the same. Liam then proceeded to tell the girl that she was the stupid one if she couldn’t understand that, to which she replied something I didn’t catch and was promptly kicked in the shin. Of course then, precious mommy was all off her phone in an instant to scoop off her kids as the girl wailed, leaving with a glare back at me. I waved and smiled. I’m friendly like that.  I turn to Liam to do the right then and explain what should have been done, mentally happy dancing his actions and he was, along with Jace, giving Noah one of those long deep hugs that he so often needs. Noah couldn’t be any luckier having these two guys in his life. And don’t tell Liam this, but that ice cream later that day was well deserved.




  1. Your boys are awesome. Good reason too.

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